Please Send Me Some Work!!!

Dang, but it is too quiet this week at work. This economic downturn is killing me. Without oodles of work to distract me, look what I spend my time doing!

...Trying to take a decent picture of myself. I always look weird, or like a deer caught in headlights or I twist my mouth up funny....anyway I hate almost every picture of myself. Well, I been thinking, maybe if I take enough photos while I practice relaxing and acting natural, maybe I can train myself to stop looking like Goofy.

What do you think?
Am I getting anywhere with this theory?

No really, that wasn't what I was doing. Okay, it all started like this: You might have read what Muse Swings had to say here, "I never feel comfortable in the business world, and I've been in it (with a few interruptions)for 45 years. I always feel like I'm just an actor in a Kabuki theater presentation."

And maybe you read my reply too, "Kabuki theater...what a great visual you've given me Muse...when you see me smiling to myself today you can be sure I will be seeing myself as a Kabuki actor. I'll be the one with a big red frown yowling at the heavens!"

So I get to work today and it is so slow, so slow in fact that I start thinking about being that Kabuki actor on the big stage of life.

First I draw myself as an actor....you say...but you look like a man....only men were allowed to act in kabuki theater. Here is how I see myself.

Scary enough? Do I look about to yowl any minute? Then I decide to make a self portrait...myself as the inspiration....

How about with my brow lifted like this?

No, not mean enough looking yet. How about now?

Heck I don't look scary...I just still look like Goofy.

Maybe I'll try taking an artsy shot...my reflection in a Diet Coke can...what do you think, museum worthy? No?

Oh well, I may as well try relaxing and see if I can get a decent shot of myself now that the camera is out and all pretense of work is forgotten.

First, I try a coquettish wink at the camera....what? You say you never would have recognized that as a wink? Well, I never!

After 15 or so attempts I do manage to take these two fairly, moderately, okayish pictures.

And this full smile....which I never do for the camera because this is usually when my mouth begins to twist upwards to the right and then my left eye gets smaller and smaller and all the winkles on my neck inflate to twice their normal pucker and my nose widens and ........well you get the picture don't you?

Well anyway, here I am in all of my unphotogenic glory.

I managed to do all the work on my desk today, including some busy work I manufactured to look productive. But this afternoon I found myself with too much time on my hands again. So I decided to redecorate my computer. I'll leave you with a glimpse of my new digs.

Meet Chic Clotile. She was inspired by all the talk of cloches over at Ladies Historical Tea Society. She seems like she is looking down on me a little. She probably doesn't approve of such high jinks going on in the workplace.

And here is Somber Simone. She is disappointed in me I think. And perhaps a little worried that I'm not taking my job serious enough. Oh, I take it serious hon, don't worry a bit....I just need some work to occupy my restless brain. (her hat isn't as stylish as Clotile's, she thinks fashion is a frivolous distraction in the office)

Here they are in their new positions, right where they can keep an eye on me.

I promise to behave better tomorrow girls!