Thursday, November 6, 2008

Ode To My Flattening Iron

Your ceramic plates,
copper objects of beauty to me.
More expansive by far
is my love for thee.
Than the simple curling iron
which languishes in your shadow.
Never used, forgotten now.
Unruly waves vanquished,
when weather permits.
Humidity, the last enemy of
straight flat hair.

Disclaimer: Don't hate me because of my poetical talent!

....I just needed to express my love for the greatest invention of my times.


  1. okay, how funny is that - I did an 'Ode to the flat Iron' on my blog back in September! - can't live without it!

  2. ps - but I didn't do a clever 'ode' I just blathered on - your ode very clever!

  3. So.. with both you and Jeane going on about the flat iron.. I'd say it's had some good "press." ;)

  4. Haha! I was just going to mention Jeane's post about it and she's already been here!

    I'm going to have to break down and get myself one of these. My hair has just enough natural wave to look frizzled. The humidity hits it and ((FUZZ))'s a sponge.

    I hate you for your poetical talent, BTW! ;^)

  5. I also hate you because you're clever. And artistic. And apparently can make your hair do things. Stevie, I just realized. I don't like you at all, you clever clever woman. I'm not sure why I wander over here on a daily basis, and find myself wishing you lived right next door. The dislike is that strong.

    This post is ironic. I'm wig shopping today.

  6. Many women nodding in agreement with this post, I'll wager. My daughter and I both use it. I got tired of asking her if I should leave the flattening iron on for her...too many I shortened it to 'flatter'. Now most mornings I can be heard saying "do you want the flatter on?" to be followed as we leave the house..."Did you turn the flatter off?"

  7. My name is Denise and I love my flat iron! I had short hard to manage hair until about 4 years ago and then I tried my daughter's straightener, that is what we call it! I love having longer hair! I could not start my day without my straightener or my coffee!!!

  8. Maybe that's just the thing I need for that one stupid unruly wave that insists on bunching up one side of my head.
    I'm trying very hard not to hate you for your beautiful poem.
    Carl Sandberg must be notified at once!

  9. Flat irons are a blessed invention for us curly heads who live in humid climes. ♥ ∞

  10. Too much work!!!! It's great being a man for sure!

  11. Jeane, don't you think the flattening is the greatest invention of our time...???

    Hilary, too punny! Bet you can't deliver the punchline with a "straight" face though.

    Willow, once you flatten you'll never go back! No more frizz, unless your hair gets damp.

    Debby, it would be fun to live next door! Don't hate me cause I'm clever...think of it as a need to ex"press" my love. Be comforted by the thought that I had to live to be 50 before I could get a decent hairdo...think of the first 50 years I spent with a mushroom cloud for a hairdo and you'll be comforted.

    Lavinia, I'm much too selfish to share my love with anyone else! You're a better woman than me.

    Denise, see my comment to Debby about the first 50 years of my life...I had a permanent flip on the top of my head and a mushroom cloud around the bottom of my hair....

    Muse, yes your unruly wave can be tamed. Run, don't your own iron'll never have to wrestle with that wave again! Did you notify Carl Sandburg yet? He was incredibly impressed wasn't he?

    Sparky, humidity is the bane of my existence!!!!! It is not only responsible for the afomeantioned mushroom cloud but for making me sweat at all the important events of my life. Oh the humanity in the humidity!

    Strider, you men just don't know how good you have it!!!!

  12. My daughter bows down in gratitude to her flat iron on a regular basis.

  13. Thank you, dear poet, for expressing into such lovely words, my own admiration and dedication to my flat iron.

    I am forever in your debt.


  14. hee made me chuckle. I think it is VERY's from the heart! ;)

  15. We always want what we don't have. I, of the straightest locks imaginable, have often wished for hair in need of "ironing".


I'm glad you stopped by and I look forward to your comments. As Dr. Fraser Crane would say, "Hello, I'm listening."