Dang, but it is too quiet this week at work. This economic downturn is killing me. Without oodles of work to distract me, look what I spend my time doing!
...Trying to take a decent picture of myself. I always look weird, or like a deer caught in headlights or I twist my mouth up funny....anyway I hate almost every picture of myself. Well, I been thinking, maybe if I take enough photos while I practice relaxing and acting natural, maybe I can train myself to stop looking like Goofy.
What do you think?
Am I getting anywhere with this theory?
No really, that wasn't what I was doing. Okay, it all started like this: You might have read what Muse Swings had to say here, "I never feel comfortable in the business world, and I've been in it (with a few interruptions)for 45 years. I always feel like I'm just an actor in a Kabuki theater presentation."
And maybe you read my reply too, "Kabuki theater...what a great visual you've given me Muse...when you see me smiling to myself today you can be sure I will be seeing myself as a Kabuki actor. I'll be the one with a big red frown yowling at the heavens!"
So I get to work today and it is so slow, so slow in fact that I start thinking about being that Kabuki actor on the big stage of life.
First I draw myself as an actor....you say...but you look like a man....only men were allowed to act in kabuki theater. Here is how I see myself.
Scary enough? Do I look about to yowl any minute? Then I decide to make a self portrait...myself as the inspiration....
How about with my brow lifted like this?
No, not mean enough looking yet. How about now?
Heck I don't look scary...I just still look like Goofy.
Maybe I'll try taking an artsy shot...my reflection in a Diet Coke can...what do you think, museum worthy? No?
Oh well, I may as well try relaxing and see if I can get a decent shot of myself now that the camera is out and all pretense of work is forgotten.
First, I try a coquettish wink at the camera....what? You say you never would have recognized that as a wink? Well, I never!
After 15 or so attempts I do manage to take these two fairly, moderately, okayish pictures.
And this full smile....which I never do for the camera because this is usually when my mouth begins to twist upwards to the right and then my left eye gets smaller and smaller and all the winkles on my neck inflate to twice their normal pucker and my nose widens and ........well you get the picture don't you?
Well anyway, here I am in all of my unphotogenic glory.
I managed to do all the work on my desk today, including some busy work I manufactured to look productive. But this afternoon I found myself with too much time on my hands again. So I decided to redecorate my computer. I'll leave you with a glimpse of my new digs.
Meet Chic Clotile. She was inspired by all the talk of cloches over at Ladies Historical Tea Society. She seems like she is looking down on me a little. She probably doesn't approve of such high jinks going on in the workplace.
And here is Somber Simone. She is disappointed in me I think. And perhaps a little worried that I'm not taking my job serious enough. Oh, I take it serious hon, don't worry a bit....I just need some work to occupy my restless brain. (her hat isn't as stylish as Clotile's, she thinks fashion is a frivolous distraction in the office)
Here they are in their new positions, right where they can keep an eye on me.
I promise to behave better tomorrow girls!
ROFL....oh boy my sides are aching...you really have me in stitches and it is truly wonderful to have a good laugh! You are far more photogenic if you don't wink at yourself in handmirrors. I love the normal photo....the rest could be sold to a card publisher to use for "get well soon" cards....well laughter is the best medicine after all!Stevie you're a hoot!ReplyDelete
Oh gosh...this is hilarious. I'm just not office material myself. I've decided that I will do just about anything to keep myself out of an office. Don't behave better tomorrow, Stevie. You sound as if you might be the only bright spot in the place.ReplyDelete
This is great!!!! Love your homage to the cloche and the Kabuki theater portrait was a hoot! Artists certainly find the most interesting ways to amuse....Wonderful post Steviewren...Have a great weekend...ReplyDelete
Tears are streaming down my face and I can't even see to type!!! Oh, this was so fun! The funniest is your cute little face in the compact! You have the same excuses for not full smiling for the camera as I do. But you are mistaken...you are lovely!!!ReplyDelete
Love your Kabuki guy and your new office girls!
Thanks for the belly laughs today! I feel great now!! :D
nic drawings i love them!ReplyDelete
I love your drawings...I love the "tea ladies". They would look great on cards. IReplyDelete
I have been watching Mad Men on AMC did you mention that was one of your favorite shows? I really like it.
I enjoyed the photos and thanks for visiting my blog over here in England. If I send you some cool rain can you send us some hot sun please?ReplyDelete
At least you were being creative with your free time..........ReplyDelete
Did no one notice you taking all those photo's of yourself?
Gill from Canada
what fun!!! i've never tried to take my own photo close-up like that. i'm gonna have to try it!! you have such a wonderful sense of humor and it always makes me smile.ReplyDelete
I hate pictures of myself....I'm never as good looking in print as I imagine myself in my mind....mind is much better! I like your wink picture. Take care and have a restful....I mean....busy weekend! :-)ReplyDelete
You are so cute Steviewren! I loved all the picture poses and dialogue, and I do believe that coke can self portrait would be accepted byMOMA in a New York minute...it has style! :-DReplyDelete
Tell Chic Clotile and Somber Simone to lighten up ... life is too short to take work seriously.
Have a happy weekend my friend!
Ok...you are too hilarious! You poor thing being so bored at work! I would think that with the economy so bad that there would be lots of work in a collections agency. Oh well. I must say that the drawing looks like the Joker in the new Batman movie! And just as I was getting to the bottom of the entry, I was thinking, "Stevie, don't you have any teeth?" Then, there you are smiling and beautiful and showing your pearly whites! Yes, that's my favorite one of them all. You crack me up! Maybe you could go repo-ing for a change of pace! I did it for 18 months...never a dull moment! ;)ReplyDelete
An actor in a Kabuki theater? You are soooo funny...I love how you entertain yourself and create your own characters in your little office theather....Works for me:)ReplyDelete
BTW...the last smiling photo is great :)Have a great weekend
Hi Redian, lakeland jo and gill-that british woman. How nice to have you visit my blog. Enjoy your visit and come again soon.ReplyDelete
Ha! I think you look so cute in all the pics. I like your snoot friend, Chic Clotile, and your high falutin' friend Simone....ReplyDelete
These two ladies provide interesting company!
I see that boredom at work breeds amusement!
There are some who think that the Mona Lisa is a self portrait ofReplyDelete
da Vinci and now here you are with your Kabuki Mano Stevie which I imagine will hang in the Louvre right along side one day.
My face hurts from this post! It is wonderful. Delightful!
That was just too darn cute.. like you! Great post. :)ReplyDelete